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Shirts for Dates

My friend once said: "Listen, Herr Nora, why don't you go out and try to find a partner?" (I had been sitting crying in the corner of a public toilet again, for hours, sobbing about my loneliness, while secretely hoping that somebody might ask: "what's wrong, poor bearded lady?")
I hesitantly looked at my friend, who just shrugged, meaning: "Well, it's just an idea". 
This topic was touching a deeply buried anxiety in me.
But then some external power seized possession of me. 
I jumped on my feet with a very wild facial expression, held on tight to the public toilet bathroom sink, stared under low eyebrows into the dirty mirror at my own face and screamed: "You can do it!" 
So I put on a shirt I found in a weird online shop, saying: "I wash my armpits".
Wow I didn't even have to do anything. 
...I immediately had several partners and was never alone again.
What a success story. 
Or what a sex story.